Author of Be There
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1) What first prompted you to write BE THERE?
I
was reading through the Old Testament, and I came across a powerful passage in
God’s Word I’d never seen before. (That can happen in the Old Testament
sometimes!). It’s in 2 Chronicles, and it was a promise given to Solomon by
Almighty God at a time of great trial and transition for the Nation of Israel.
I sat back as I first read it in English, and was blown away when I translated
it from the Hebrew. (I was a language major at Dallas Seminary). Literally,
verse 16 reads, "Forever,"
the Lord says, "My name will be there. Always, My eyes and my heart will
be there." It’s that promise God
gave Solomon, and through him to His people, that became the basis for this book.
For in our day of great trials and transitions, we need to know God is
“there" for us, and we need to understand like never before how to “be
there” for others.
2) How did writing this book change you personally?
Years
ago, my doctoral dissertation became a best-selling book (co-authored with my
friend Gary Smalley) called, The Blessing.
It was such a powerful concept that was so simple to grasp and teach. The
concept of "Be There" is another one of those core biblical concepts
that communicates to people so deeply, simply and powerfully. In our
disconnected world, we want our loved ones to "be there" for us. We
want our spouse to not just come home from work, but to "be there"
for us. Our children want us to "be there" for them, not just take
them places or buy them things. In studying what it means, biblically, to
"be there," it’s been a wonderful daily reminder for me to "be
there" for my wife, Cindy, and our daughters, Kari and Laura.
3) What kind of research went into the creation of BE THERE?
First,
I looked into the history and background of this promise God gave to Solomon
(For example, did you know this is the second time God woke up Solomon in the
middle of the night to grant him a prayer request?). But it was the word
studies on the five major words in 2 Chronicles 7:16 that helped define for me
what it means "Be There."
"Forever," our "name" our "eyes" and
"heart" should "be there." As I began to study those key
words, the concept just exploded with life and energy and insight into what it
means to truly "connect" with our loved ones at a deep level today.
4) What should every reader know about you, and about BE THERE?
If
each person would just read one story in the book – I think he or she could see
life in a dramatically different way. The story is in Chapter 16, "Being
There for the World Around You." It opens the chapter, and it’s the story
of a "shoe shine" man who brightens the lives of needy people every
day. That metaphor of "shining
shoes" and "being there" for people "one shoe at a
time" is, I think, our role as Christians. I’m convinced that more than
ever today, the people we meet are hurting, disconnected and desperately in
need of a friend, a spouse, a parent or their church to "be there"
for them. By reading the story of Albert Lexie, I think they’ll realize even
more clearly how "being there" for others – "one shoe at a
time" – can change people’s lives for the better.
5)
What are the biggest obstacles that keep parents from "being there"
for their kids? What can parents do about them?
In
our day, I think without a doubt, three obstacles combine to keep many of us
from truly "Being There" for our children. The first obstacle is
having a parent whose "name, eyes, and heart" was never really there
for us. It can be difficult for people to pass down something they’ve never
seen, experienced or lived out. Second, even if the knowledge or modeling is
there, we’re such busy people! "Being there" requires us to make eye
contact and heart contact with our children, and that takes time. Finally, I
think many people believe a "big event" or trip can make up for small
acts of "being there." That’s simply not the case. It’s daily doses
of our "name, eyes, and heart" "being there" for our loved
ones that makes the most lasting, loving impressions.
6) When was someone was "there" for you at a critical
juncture in your life?
Without
a doubt, my mother was a wonderful example of someone who demonstrated what it
means to "be there" for me. For example, I have a twin brother who
was an outstanding student in high school and college. He graduated Summa Cum
Laude, while I graduated “Lordie How Cum?” Yet fully a hundred times when I was
growing up, I remember my mother telling me how much "potential" I
had a writer; how "creative" I was; how, just like Jeff, I’d make a
difference in people’s lives one day. (My brother Jeff is a world-class cancer
research doctor today). My Mom’s "eyes" saw God-given potential in me
when teachers and fellow students didn’t – and that gave me the encouragement
to keep trying and not give up on school.
7) I understand your own father was often not around during your
growing-up
years. How did that affect you, and how have you dealt with that?
I’ve
wrote an entire book about dealing with negative "pictures" from the
past that just came out with Waterbrook Press, called, "Pictures Your
Heart Remembers." It’s a very personal contrast between my relationship
with my father and my mother. My mother was always "there" for me,
while my father chose to leave three boys under three, and to never "be
there" for us as we grew up. When my Dad left in 1954, the divorce rate
was 4 out of 1000. I resented being from a single-parent home and to be honest,
I often hated my father. It wasn’t until I came to Christ through Young Life in
high school that I was challenged to forgive and even love my Dad. That’s when
the Lord began to change the "pictures" of my life-story. Instead of
hating him, for example, I began to pray for my father and ended up seeing the
"pictures" of his life story in a very different way. Ultimately, I
think true healing from past hurts comes down to another wonderful passage in
the Old Testament. It’s Deuteronomy 23:6. "The Lord Your God turned the
curse into a blessing for you, because the Lord Your God loves you." It’s
God’s love that can reverse a curse and fill our lives with His blessing.
8) What would you say are a parent’s top five priorities? Please
explain.
As
to those five top "parenting" priorities, I’d have to return to those
five aspects of what it means to "Be There." Children need to know
that we’ll "be there" for them day in and day out – a week of putting
them to bed with a hug and "I love you" is "forever" in kid
language. A son or daughter needs to have our "eyes" look for the
best in their life, and to see our "heart" reflected in our hugs and
positive words. Finally, each child needs to know that our "name" is
on him or her. Each child needs to know that, out of all the kids in the world,
he or she is priceless and special to us. Those are five parenting
"keepers" I work at living out with my own children each day.
9) What’s the best compliment a fan could give you about the book, BE
THERE?
Without
a doubt, the best thing I could hear from a friend would be, "Trent found
another nugget from God’s Word to write about." It’s God’s Word that will
change lives and hearts. I think this passage in 2 Chronicles will give people
a new way of seeing God’s commitment to them, and challenging them in their
commitment to others. The first time
someone comes to me at a conference and says, "I wasn’t ‘being there’ for
my family or my Lord … but now I know how to do that, and I’m committed to
‘being there’ for them." (or better yet, their spouse comes up with them
and tells that about them!), you’ll be able to hear the "Thank you,
Lord!" echo to wherever you’re reading this!