Selections from A Love Worth Giving by Max Lucado

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The book of I Corinthians in the Bible offers a brief, but potent, description of divine love. Max Lucado, in his latest book, helps readers see what this divine love looks like as it is directed from God to us and, from us to others.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always endures. Love never fails. I Corinthians 13: 1-8

Looking for Love in the Cafeteria Line

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Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things…

Wouldn’t it be nice if love were like a cafeteria line? What if you could look at the person with whom you live and select what you want and pass on what you don’t? What if parents could do this with kids? “I’ll take a plate of good grades and cute smiles, and I’m passing on the teenage identity crisis and tuition bills.”

What if kids could do the same with parents? “Please give me a helping of allowances and free lodging, but no rules or curfews, thank you.”

And spouse with spouse? “H’m, how about a bowl of good health and good moods. But job transfers, in-laws, and laundry are not on my diet.”

Wouldn’t it be great if love were like a cafeteria line? It would be easier. It would be neater. It would be painless and peaceful. But you know what? It wouldn’t be love. Love doesn’t accept just a few things. Love is willing to accept all things.

What Dreams Do You Hold Dear?

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Love always hopes…

The aspiring young author was in need of hope. More than one person had told him to give up. “Getting published is impossible,” one mentor said. “Unless you are a national celebrity, publishers won’t talk to you.” Another warned, “Writing takes too much time. Besides, you don’t want all your thoughts on paper.

Initially he listened. He agreed that writing was a waste of effort and turned his attention to other projects. But somehow the pen and pad were bourbon and Coke to the wordaholic. He’d rather write than read. So he wrote. How many nights did he pass on that couch in the corner of the apartment reshuffling his deck of verbs and nouns? And how many hours did his wife sit with him? He wordsmithing. She cross-stitching. Finally a manuscript was finished. Crude and laden with mistakes but finished.

She gave him the shove. “Send it out. What’s the harm?”

So it went. Mailed to fifteen different publishers. While the couple waited, he wrote. While he wrote, she stitched. Neither expecting much, both hoping everything. Responses began to fill the mailbox. “I’m sorry, but we don’t accept unsolicited manuscripts.” “We must return your work. Best of luck.” “Our catalog doesn’t have room for unpublished authors.”

I still have the letters. Somewhere in a file. Finding them would take some time. Finding Denalyn’s cross-stitch however, would take none. To see it, all I do is lift my eyes from this monitor and look on the wall. “Of all those arts in which the wise excel, nature’s chief masterpiece is writing well.”

She gave it to me about the time the fifteenth letter arrived. A publisher had said yes. That letter is also framed. Which of the two is more meaningful? The gift from my wife or the letter from the publisher? The gift, hands down. For in giving the gift, Denalyn gave hope.

Does Your Love Go the Distance?

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Love always endures…

This question surfaced as I was golfing recently. Waiting my turn to putt, I squatted down to clean my ball and noticed a mountain of ants beside it. Must have been dozens of them, all over each other. A pyramid of motion at least half an inch tall.

I don’t know what you think when you see ants on a green as you are waiting to putt. But here is what I thought. Why are you guys all bunched up? You have the whole green. Why, the entire golf course is yours to spread out in. Then it occurred to me. These ants are nervous. Who could blame them? They live under a constant meteor shower. Every few minutes a dimpled orb comes crashing into their world. Bam! Bam! Bam! Just when the bombing stops, the mallet-swinging giants arrive. If you survive their feet and sticks, they roll a meteor at you. A golf green is not place for an ant.

So I tried to help them. Leaning down where they could hear me, I invited, “Come on, follow me.” We’ll find a nice spot in the rough. I know it well.” Not one looked in my direction. “Hey ants!” Still no reply. Then I realized. I don’t speak their language. I don’t speak Ant. Pretty fluent in the idiom of Uncle, but I don’t speak Ant.

So what could I do to reach them? Only one thing, I needed to become an ant. Go from six feet two inches to teeny-weeny. From 200+ pounds to tenths of an ounce. Swap my big world for their tiny one. Give up burgers and start eating grass. “No thanks,” I said. Besides, it was my turn to putt.

Love goes the distance…and Christ traveled from the limitless eternity to be confined by time in order to become one of us. He didn’t have to. He could have given up. At any step along the way he could have called it quits.

A Little Fire Never Hurt Anybody. Right?

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Love does not envy…

Nancy is single. Forty-something and single. Her friends chat about diapers and schools, the oddities of husbands, and the curiosities of family life. She just listens and smiles.

She is single. Forty-something and single. Her friends drive minivans. A high-school classmate has kids bound for college. Nancy drives a compact car and eats most meals alone and feels awkward at baby showers.

She is single. People wonder why. They never say it, but their eyes betray it. “You aren’t married?” is the question. Why not? is the thought. Is something wrong? Something awry? Abnormal?

Serving on a church staff exacerbates the contrast. She dutifully nods as members tell family holiday stories and husband-wife vacation adventures. She spent last Christmas with her parents, then drove home alone. And she’d enjoy a trip, but travel partners are hard to come by. How can she love the church family when they have what she wants?

She occasionally feels vulnerable at night. What was that noise? She feels self-conscious at parties. Do I go alone? And she’s having to cope with envy. Not anger. Not red-hot jealously. Certainly not hatred. Just envy. A flicker of resentment toward women who have what she doesn’t. And she’s concerned.

Well she should be. For what is a flicker today can turn into a fire tomorrow.

Suppose you spotted a flame in your house. Not a blaze and certainly not a fire, but tiny tongues of heat dancing on the hem of a curtain, on the fringe of the carpet, to the side of the stove. What would you do? How would you react? Would you shrug your shoulders and walk away, saying, “A little fire never hurt any house.”

Of course not. You’d put it out. Douse it, stamp it, cover it—anything but allow it. You would not tolerate a maverick flame in your house. Why? Because you know the growth pattern of fire. What is born in innocence is deadly in adolescence. Left untended, fire consumes all that is consumable. You know, for the sake of your house, you don’t play with fire.

For the sake of your heart, the same is true. A warning should be offered about the fire in the heart, which, left unchecked, can burst into a hungry flames and consume all this is consumable. The name of the fire? Solomon tagged it. “Jealousy is cruel as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire” (Song of Sol. 8:6 RSV). Paul was equally aggressive in his declaration. “Love does not envy” (I Cor. 13:4 NKVJ).

Jesus Makes Emily Post Look Like Archie Bunker!

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Love is not rude…

Perhaps you’ve never placed the word courteous next to Christ. I hadn’t until I wrote this chapter.

But you know how you never notice double-cab trucks until your friend says he wants one—then you see a dozen of them? I had never thought much about the courtesy of Christ before, but as I began looking, I realized that Jesus makes Emily Post look like Archie Bunker.

He always knocks before entering. He doesn’t have to. He owns your heart. If anyone has the right to barge in, Christ does. But he doesn’t. That gentle tap you hear? It’s Christ. “Behold I stand at the door and knock” (Rev. 3:20 NASB). And when you answer, he awaits your invitation to cross the threshold.

And when he enters, he always brings a gift. Some bring Chianti and daisies. Christ brings “the gift of the Holy Spirit” (Acts 2:38). And, as he stays, he serves. “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve (Mark 10:45 NIV). If you’re missing your apron, you’ll find it on him. He’s serving the guests as they sit (John 13:4-5). He won’t eat until he’s offered thanks, and he won’t leave until the leftovers are put away (Matt. 14:19-20).

He is courteous enough to tell you his name (Exod. 3:15) and to call you by yours (John 10:3). And when you talk, he never interrupts. Ever been to a doctor who is so busy that he prescribes the medicine before he hears your problem? Jesus isn’t like that. He could be. He “knows what you need before you ask him” (Matt. 6:8 NIV). He also knows what you’ve done before you ask him for forgiveness. “Nothing in all creation can hide from him. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes” (Heb. 4:13 NLT). A God of lesser courtesy would stop you midsentence with reminders of your past foibles. Not Christ. He is not rude. He listens.

He is even on time. Never late. Never early. If you’re checking your watch, it’s because you’re on a different itinerary. “There is a time for everything” (Eccles. 3:1). And Christ stays on schedule.

He even opens doors for you. Paul could preach at Troas because “the Lord had opened a door.” (2 Cor. 2:12 NIV). When I asked my dad why men should open doors for women, his answer was one word: “respect.” Christ must have abundant respect for you.

He knocks before he enters. He always brings a gift. Food is served. The table is cleared. Thanks are offered. He knows your name and tells you his, and here is one more.

He pulls the chair for you. “He raised you up with Christ and gave us a seat with him in the heavens” (Eph 2:6).

People can be so rude. We snatch parking places. We forget names. We interrupt. We fail to show up. Could you use some courtesy? Has it been a while since someone pulled out your chair?

Then let Jesus. Don’t hurry through this thought. Receive the courtesy of Christ. He’s your groom. Does not the groom cherish the bride? Respect the bride? Honor the bride? Let Christ do what he longs to do.

For as you receive his love, you’ll find it easier to give yours. As you reflect on his courtesy to you, you’ll be likely to offer the same.

What’s More Common than a Cold and

More Deadly than the Black Plague?

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Love is not self-seeking…

There is a malady that makes the Black Plague appear as mild as the common cold.

Tally the death tolls of all infections, fevers, and epidemics since the beginning of time, and you’ll still fall short of the number claimed by this single infirmity.

And, forgive me for being the one to tell you, but you are infected. You suffer from it. You are a victim—a diseased carrier. You have shown the symptoms and manifested the signs. You have a case of—brace yourself—selfishness.

Don’t believe me?

Suppose you are in a group photo. The first time you see the picture, where do you look? And if you look good, do you like the picture? If you are the only one who looks good, do you still like the picture? If some are cross-eyed and others have spinach in their teeth, do you still like the picture? If that makes you like it even more, you’ve got a bad case.

What about the physical manifestations?

Clutching hands. Do your fingers ever wrap and close around possessions?

Protruding teeth. Do fangs ever flare when you are interrupted or irritated?

Heavy feet. When a neighboring car wants to cut in front of you, do you sense a sudden heaviness of foot on the accelerator?

Extended shoulder. Any inflammation from patting yourself on the back?

And your neck. Is it sore from keeping your nose in the air?

But most of all, look in your eyes. Look long into your pupils. Do you see a tiny figure? An image of a person? An image of you?

The self-centered see everything through self. Their motto? “It’s all about me!” The flight schedule. The traffic. The dress styles. The worship styles. The weather, the work, whether or not one works—everything is filtered through the mini-me in the eye.

Selfishness is to society what the Exxon Valdez was to scallops and sea otters – deadly. Is it any wonder that Paul writes: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Phil. 2:3-4 NASB)?

At first glance the standard in the passage seems impossible to meet. Nothing? We shouldn’t do anything for ourselves? No new dress or suit. What about going to school or saving money—couldn’t all of these things be considered selfish?

Looking after your personal interests is proper life management. Doing so to the exclusion of the rest of the world is selfishness. The adverb highlighted in verse 4 is helpful. “Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”

Desire success? Fine. Just don’t hurt others in achieving it. Wish to look nice? That’s okay. Just don’t do so by making others look bad. Love isn’t selfish.

When Does Anger Cross the Line to Sin?

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Love is not easily angered…

Anger in and of itself is not a sin. The emotion was God’s idea. “Be angry,” he urges, “and do not sin” (Eph. 4:26 NKJV). Anger is not a sin, but it can lead to sin. Perhaps your anger doesn’t lead you to shed blood, but does it make you touchy, irritable, quick-tempered, quick to take offense? Do you fly off the handle? Those aren’t my terms. They are Paul’s. According to the apostle, love it not:

“touchy” (TLB),

“irritable” (NLT),

“quick tempered” (CEV),

“quick to take offense” (NEB),

“easily angered” (NIV),

and love “doesn’t fly off the handle” (MSG)

God can help you get rid of your anger. He made galaxies no one has ever seen and dug canyons we have yet to find. “The Lord….heals all your diseases” (Ps. 103:2-3 NIV). Do you think among those diseases might be the affliction of anger?

Do you think God could heal your angry heart?

Do you want him to? This is not a trick question. He asks the same questions of you that he asked of the invalid: “Do you want to be well?” (John 5:6). Not everyone does. You may be addicted to anger. You may be a rage junkie. Anger may be part of your identity. But if you want him to, he can change your identity. Do you want him to do so?

Do You Feel Exposed and Vulnerable?

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Love always protects…

God has clothed us. He protects us with a cloak of love. Can you look back over your life and see instances of God’s protection? I can too. My junior year in college I was fascinated by a movement of Christians several thousand miles from my campus. Some of my friends decided to spend the summer at the movement’s largest church and be discipled. When I tried to do the same, every door closed. Problem after problem with finances, logistics and travel.

A second opportunity surfaced: spending the summer in Brazil. In this case, every door I knocked on swung open. Two and one half decades later I see how God protected me. The movement has become a cult—dangerous and oppressive. Time in Brazil introduced me to grace—freeing and joyful. Did God protect me? Does God protect us?

Does he do for us what he did for the woman caught in adultery? He protected her from the stones. And his disciples? He protected them from the storm. And the demoniac? He protected him from hell itself. Why, Jesus even protected Peter from the tax collectors by providing a tax payment.

And you? Did he keep you from a bad relationship? Protect you from the wrong job? Insulate you from ______________ (you fill in the blank). “Like hovering birds, so will [the Lord Almighty] protect Jerusalem” (Isa. 31:5 JB). “He will strengthen and protect you” (2 Thess. 3:3 NIV). “He will command his angels…to guard you” (Ps. 91:11 NIV). God protects you with a cloak of love.

Know anyone who needs a cloak of love?

Have you ever heard anyone gossip about someone you know? Ever seen human jackals make a meal out of a fallen friend? “Well, I heard that she….” “Oh, but didn’t you know that she….” “Let me tell you what a friend told me about him…” Then all of a sudden it’s your turn. Everybody is picking your friend apart. What do you have to say?

Here is what love says. Love says nothing. Love stays silent. “Love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8 NASB). Love doesn’t expose. It doesn’t gossip. If love says anything, love speaks words of defense. Words of kindness. Words of protection.

How Do You Define “Kindness?”

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Love is kind…

In the original language, the word for kindness carries an added idea the English word does not. Chiefly it refers to an act of grace. But it also refers to a deed or person who is “useful, serviceable, adapted to its purpose.” Kindness was even employed to describe food that was tasty as well as healthy. Sounds odd to our ears. “Hey, honey, what a great meal. The salad is especially kind tonight.”

But the usage makes sense. Isn’t kindness good and good for you? Pleasant and practical? Kindness not only says good morning, kindness makes the coffee. Again, doesn’t Jesus fit this description? He not only attended the wedding, he rescued it. He not only healed the woman, he honored her. He did more than call Zacchaeus by name: he entered his house.

Hasn’t he acted similarly with you? Hasn’t he helped you out of a few jams? Hasn’t he come into your house? And has there ever been a time when he was too busy to listen to your story? The Bible says, “Whoever is wise will observe these things, and they will understand the lovingkindness of the Lord” (Ps. 107:43 NKJV). Hasn’t God been kind- pleasantly useful- to you? And since God has been so kind to you (you know what I’m about to say), can’t you be kind to others?

Some may think that all this talk of kindness sounds, well…it sounds a bit wimpy. Men in particular tend to value more dramatic virtues - courage, devotion, and visionary leadership. We attend seminars on strategizing and team building. But I can’t say I’ve ever attended or even heard of one lecture on kindness. Jesus, however, would take issue with our priorities. “Go and learn what this means,” he commands. “’I want kindness more than I want animal sacrifices’” (Matt. 9:13). Paul places kindness toward the top of the pyramid when he writes, “Love is kind” (I Cor. 13:4 NIV).

How kind are you? What is your kindness quotient? When was the last time you did something kind for someone in your family—e.g., got a blanket, cleaned off the table, prepared the coffee—without being asked? Think about your school or workplace. Which person is the most overlooked or avoided? A shy student? A grumpy employee? Maybe he doesn’t speak the language. Maybe she doesn’t fit in. Are you kind to this person?